Starting the journey and Dominican Republic Pictures!

Realizing that my blog has been a sitting duck for quite some time, I thought I would update a post as much has happened since my last posting.

I have had an amazing journey to Guatemala and to the Dominican Republic. I have worked as a nanny in California, worked at a marketing research firm, and now working at a video game company as a Project Manager. I am looking to return to Guatemala this summer with some amazing High Schoolers from Marin Covenant.

Below are some of my favorite pictures from Dominican Republic this last year:

Please begin praying as our first meeting is tonight for our trip to Guatemala!

Relaxing Weekend...

This weekend was the first time I felt like no one was waiting on my call or counting on me to show up somewhere on a planned schedule.

What a breath of fresh air! However, my throat is sore which means I really did let my guard down and relax cause I always get sick when I slow down.

I watched movies I had never seen and a good classic- Dirty Dancing. I would classify this past weekend as one of the best of the year. Chilling, catching up on movies. getting a few things crossed off the list, cooking with Josh, and just enjoying being me.

I am excited about this new chapter. I actually felt like a project manager at my job today that new what she was doing today. It was pretty amazing. I can't wait as this unfolds what is going to happen next!

Until then, I will be singing... "Now I, had the time of my life... and I owe it all to you!"

New thoughts and a growing person...

Never in my life would I have ever thought I would ...

One: be living in California.

Two: ever play the guitar at church.

Three: be working in research.

Four: been a nanny for a year.

Five: finally being honest with myself and achieving what I know to be right.

I have been thinking a lot lately about how I express my thoughts and feelings to others, and as I can tell- I really suck at it. Being honest with myself is a new profound concept that has not been easy to come by. I feel as though I am growing up and reaching new levels in my life; this feeling is new because before I thought I already knew who I was and what I wanted. These are levels I truly have wanted to seek and if they aren't then figuring out how to move forward letting go of old "goals" set jointly by others and myself and truly seeking the ones that matter to me. Emphasizing the word me is something I would have never thought I would ever do. I guess I should add that on my list as number six. I always put everyone else first. Not only in their needs but took their opinions about what I should do about my life before my own. Looking back, I am not sure I would have done my life the way I did. Not to say that I have regrets about my past, but I might have actually enjoyed the journey more than just skipping through the fun part.

I believe that every person has a journey. It is the choices that they make that creates the story. I am choosing not to write a fiction novel any more and coming to terms with the fact that I would rather have a documentary/reality t.v. show I actually enjoy watching than a fiction novel I am letting others write and collaborate for the ending.

So as a new start to my new chapter of reality, I will be blogging more often; because if I am honest with myself, I love doing it. :)

How he loves us...

He is jealous for me, Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,

Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.

When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,

And I realize just how beautiful You are,

And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us oh

Oh how He loves us,

How He loves us all

He loves us,

Oh how He loves us,

Oh how He loves us,

Oh how He loves.

We are His portion and He is our prize

Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes

If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking

So Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss

And my heart turns violently inside of my chest

I don't have time to maintain these regrets

When I think about the way

And oh, how He loves us oh

Oh how He loves us,

How He loves us all

Yeah, He loves us,

Oh how He loves us,

Oh how He loves us,

Oh how He loves.

The week God planned...

It was an incredible journey traveling with 40 other people and 37 of the being high schoolers who didn't know what they were about to get themselves into. A lot of crying and changing to a humble heart was in store for all of us. I can't believe how fast that week went by and really I can't believe we have been back for almost two weeks. My heart still melts when I think about that place.

I cannot thank the people who sent support and prayed for us on the trip how much I appreciate their love. It was an incredible trip that I will NEVER forget. God has truly wraped His arms around me in my season of life and it is very difficult when waiting is apart of the journey. However if it wasn't for the wait, getting what He makes me wait for wouldn't be so exciting.

Biggest night of the week for me was actually the last night. Encompassing because of the events leading up that made that night so special. The night we went to the "cell group" or Bible study with the people of the church, we were invited into their home, sang with them, prayed with them and read scripture together. Even though it was in another language it was the most beautiful and humbling experience, I have ever had. The house we were in was lo larger that a 9 by 12 room made up of cement blocks. It had two beds and a door, that was about it. We sang How Great Thou Art because we knew it in English and they could sing it in spanish at the same time. We prayed over a lady who had been very ill for weeks and weeks. When I say we prayed over, it is not the "baptist" lets pray together and we all wait our turn to pray... NO. We all prayed at the same time for about 15 to 20 mins. Hands raising, songs sang, names of God crying out in this little house. It was amazing.

Getting back to why that last night was my favorite. We went to the church for our last service and the family whose house we stayed at were there... so was the lady who had been sick. She was healed! It was incredible. The hug we got from her and her family- the tightness and thankfulness for our prayers was incredible. That is one story, I will never forget.

There is something about the place in my life right now that makes this super sweet. My eyes are being opened to the world, and God is using the people around me to do so. It is incredible to think of how mad or sad I can get and how easily I can get that way. I have never before seen so many kids excited to learn the English language or play with a jump rope or a balloon for hours and be so excited. However, I do believe my favorite Christmas gift ever was my yoyo. Which is entirely different story.

My life is not meant to be stagnant or confind by borders or states. My home is where my heart is and part of my heart was deffinitely left in Guatemala.

Guatemala

The Itinerary! Just thought you guys would want to pray this week, daily on what we are doing.

Itinerary for Guatemala Trip, June 18 - June 25, 2011

June 18:

Meet at Church at 7:00 pm

Check in for flight at SFO

Flight departs 12:20 am

June 19:

Arrive in Guatemala City at 10:20

Take bus to Santa Apolonia

Arrive in Santa Apolonia 2:00

Divide Team into two

Red and Green Teams stay in Santa Apolonia and participate in Church

Service

Black and Blue Teams go to Cojulia to run child care during a Marriage

Seminar

June 20 -24 (daily schedule)

7:00

wake up

7:45

breakfast

8:45

head out to sites

9:00

construction in Santa Apolonia and Cojulia

12:00

lunch

1:30

Red and Green Teams teach English in Santa Apolonia

Black and Blue Teams teach English in Cojulia

4:00

Back together for clean up / showers / free time

5:30

Dinner

7:00

Group Meeting / Church Service / Fun Activity

10:00

Bed Time

June 25

7:30

wake up and pack up

8:30

breakfast

10:00

head to the airport

2:00

flight home

11:00

arrive at SFO and done!

June 26

12:30

thank you lunch and celebration, each student will get to share about trip

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers! I hope to update the week when I get back pictures and thoughts of every day... maybe even some videos. :) YAY!

Sending Californians (and a Texan) to Guatemala!

Dearest loved ones and family,

Within the past year of my life, God has truly blessed me in my journey with Him as I walked on water to the county of Marin in California. It has been one of the first times in my life where I truly understand that being a missionary does not mean going to a third world country and ministering to unreached people- when I am living in the top 5% of unreached counties in the United States.

Within this journey to the West Coast, I have had the opportunity to minister to college students and build relationships by loving on kids in the church who have not been surrounded by southern hospitality and family love as I was blessed with growing up; thanks to all of you.

As my contract with my job as a nanny is ending in the next couple of weeks, my life has taken a toll of questions to where God has been leading me. My journey is on the path to stay here in Marin and continue to minister to these students. In accepting and believing by faith that God has everything under control, I have an opportunity to bond with the high school students on a mission trip to Guatemala during the week of June 18-25. I am truly blessed and honored to be a leader and prayer warrior for this trip.

Living day to day in a county that is so lost, the quesiton arises on why do missions else where? Going to a third world country can change a persons view on the day to day living. Make them believe in the impossible is possible and those little daily things that make such a difference in the world. This is my first adventure to a third world country. I am encouraged that so many people are wanting to take part in this adventure and I am excited to see what God does in my life and the people we get to meet.

I just finished reading a book called, Radical, written by David Platt. This whole book is a challenge to take up your cross and live each day for the glory of Christ. This journey is allowing myself and the 42 other people on this trip to take the challenge and to learn to do it on a daily basis.

As I am working fundraisers and selling photo cards I have made, to help fund this trip, I am still in need to reach the remainder of the cost. I am asking that you would prayerfully consider helping this group and myself with a financial donation. The cost per person is roughly $1400. I truly believe that going on a trip like this can change your life, and the lives around you. These students willing hearts and the people we will touch while we are there are priceless adventures that will be with me always.

Honor and love

On Sunday night, the discussion at our college group was about Honor and love. The differences the similarities. But before I tell you what we said, what do you think?

Honor vs Love.

realization of life... or fairy-tale-ization.

"You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true."

Meredith on Grey's Anatomy states this on the T.V. show, and actually I feel like she was talking to me. Sadly I didn't see this episode, yet I ran across this quote online and then researched the show so I could actually see what she was talking about in context.

I definitely have days that I believe in no fairy tales at all and then others in which all I wish and hope are that my fairy tales come true. Not necessarily the ones that I tell Luke & Cole, which are usually about sharks and giants or have Batman fighting off giant dogs or camping with superheroes. Although those might be fun if they came true, but I am talking about the hopeless romantic of finding prince charming, or the perfect job if there is such a thing, having kids of my own, traveling the world, being financially set for life... you know the little things.

I have come to realize that I am living my own fairy tale. Maybe not one that would make a great movie, but one that makes other lives seem boring. For instance, I have graduated from a 4-year university with no debt, I am living in California and have so many options of what to do next that it is troubling to know which door to walk through. Who can say that?? I maybe singing the song of waiting. However, my fairy tales are coming true right under my nose and I am too worried about what other people think stop and realize how blessed I really am. I have a loving family who just want the best for me, a wonderful church family who pray for me daily and best friends who may be thousands of miles away- but make every day brighter just by their love.

Chesterton said it best when he stated,

"Fairy tales do not tell children the dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children the dragons can be killed."

Christmas time!

Welcome to Texas! It has been so nice being home and enjoying the break from little boys. I love them dearly; however, getting away to rest and spend some time with your own family is always needed.

I have been able to rest and really be excited about being me again. My jogging in the mornings has been incredible. I have really felt great, and then not so bad when I have a Christmas cookie! We got to decorate our tree on Sunday, and I found the pickle ornament! New tradition: Whoever finds the pickle in the tree gets the first gift! It was a Chris Tomlin Christmas CD. Pretty excited!

I am also getting some work done and thinking about new years resolutions. Anyone got any yet? Need some help on ideas.

The time difference here has really gotten me. It is only two hours but I am still really off. It is 11:40 here and I am not really tired. I should be- or need to be. Last night I told my self to be sleepy. Didn't really work out until about 2 in the morning. So tonight, I am going to do better. Hopefully!

Had a skype date with Donna, so everything is good with her! And the retreat went well- so YAY!

Alright- long day tomorrow and I want to read some in the john orthberg book-

Christmas X-2 days

Update

It has been a wild ride since I arrived in California in May. I was on a mission to find a church, a mentor, people to mentor, a bible study, a dance studio and friends. God has provided all and then some. I have been so blessed and am very thankful for all that I have done and will do in the coming months. This experience is exactly what I have been needing since I graduated college. Living more on my own and gaining new experiences and expanding and exploring the opportunities that God was going to provide for me. No I can look back on the last six months and truly see how blessed I really am. I have an amazing family back home who loves me, as well as a new family here. I feel like I have adopted two twin boys that adds to my family.

We had hot chocolate after school the other day and our picture turned out as such:

The joy of little boys! :) I will get to spend Thanksgiving with them, making pies and enjoying the life of a four year old. I was always so eager to grow up, and now I get to relive my young days through them. Not everyone gets to experience that.

I rode the ferry a couple of weeks ago and took a picture of the sun setting on the Bay:

It was pretty incredible. I get to come home on the 16 of December! Can't wait to be on Texas soil! Hope to see you all soon!

Crazy how many options are in front of me...

So I just joined this book study on Boundaries. I think this is much needed for my life. How to obtain healthy boundaries and still function as a normal human being with exercise, plenty of sleep, good food, and a quiet time with God.

It's funny how come across these things and how God guides me t the paths that I am on. Rule number one, "No!" should be in my vocabulary. Let's try. no, No, NO, NO! Ok, I think I am getting better at this. Rule number two, Don't take what sounds good, wait for what is the best for me and then say yes. Rule number three, Don't be afraid to hurt anyones feelings. (Do not be a people pleaser).

Those are the big rules at the moment. More to come I am sure. I have pushed my limit this weekend with everything that went on and now I am recovering. I lived at the church- and now I need a little time to recover. So that is my plan. I got to hang out with Chris while Paul was out of town and it makes me enjoy this family even more.

I have come to realize that I really want to do more college ministry stuff at my church. Be apart of it not just an outsider. So now that I am reorganizing and reworking a few things my life just might work- but of course with boundaries. So we shall see what happens.

Pray for me so that my boundaries will be healthy ones and that my NOs come out with ease.

-girl on a mission

Monday.

So it's Monday. The start of a new week. I am working today at the studio and then have a dance lesson tonight to get my hips into gear. I have come to figure out it is not as easy to move my hips as I thought. And as redundant as it can be -I have no core muscles. Lame. So sit ups and crunches here we come. :)

I got to hang out with Shari yesterday after church. We watched Letters to Juliet... such a good movie. Total chick flick- but I loved it. Cheesy for sure and you know how much I like cheese. haha
We would have watched another chick flick but the disk wasn't in its holder so then we proceeded to watch NCIS instead. Which it has become one of my favorite shows.

Now I am trying to sit still and allow God to talk to me... instead of controlling everything myself. Would I do that!? - Never.

Well, yeah it's me.

Pray for me to let go, release my strong hold and allow God to use me. I'm in the way, so get me out!

Peace.

Cleanse day 1

Today started a journey to get rid of all of the processed food in my body. I have a headache already. Go figure. I think it is a mental thing. I have a headache that is mental I think- cause i can't have things. And I am trying to figure out my relationship with food. I know it is emotional, yes I like to eat when I am emotional. So now I am embarking on a seven day journey to get the toxins out of my body and allow me to grow and get better!

So start praying that I can stick with it! I want a new relationship with foods and sugar and eat because I need fuel not because I'm bored and need something to do.

Yay for water! Got to go drink some more...

:)

Favorite Flowers...

So today is the big party for my boss at the sudio. She is trying to rent out the other few desks and areas she has available. It has been kinda stressful up until this moment where now the food is arriving and the guest will also be arriving soon. I will be here for the first hour then I head to a dance lesson then back to help with anything in the middle and then I am free to go home. YAY! It has been a long week. I even had like 10 hours of sleep last night and I am exhausted. I am going to have to work on having a set time I get up. That has been known to help with the body. So as I sit here I am in the aroma of gardenias. I would have to say they are making it to the top of my favorites list. I have also come to realize when I went to pick them up that I truly am in love with flowers. I love them- all of them. The smell, their beauty. I used to be not so in love with flowers. I guess I always put flowers and the sentiments behind them together. Why? I don't know. I am sad that I have not truly appreciated their beauty until today, when 75 gardenias surround me and their smell of sweet peace consumes the room.

Yes, I am in love with flowers.

What is your favorite?? :)

20 something...

Why is that everyone tells you that College is the best time in you life. I can tell you why.

One: You have built in friends. People you live with, the person who sits next to you in class, dorm community, campus life.

Two: You are in the "real" world but not.

Three: You don't really worry about the balance of your life. You're young, you stay up to all hours of the night, and you could care less about next semester till it gets there.

Four: Your parents still take care of you (they always will but more so now)

So, YAY! You get a piece of paper that says you are educated and now can handle yourself in the real word. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???

Now, you can figure out the rest of your life. You have ambitions and want to do great things, yet because you don't have 5 years of experience you can't get a job. And what you want to do, you can't do cause you need money, you don't have. And your not supposed to go into debt so you don't borrow money. Which then leads to a minimum wage job which gives you experience in a job you don't want. Then for the rest of your life you try to get to the job you can't have unless you know someone that might know someone who will give you a chance. This is a viscous cycle.

So at the end of the day, network. It will be your best friend for life.

OK, that's the end of my venting for today.

It's my birthday!

It's Friday, and today I am officially 23. Weird. My sister pointed out at my mom's party this weekend that we are the ages of when my mom had us (with april and I switched of course). And yet none of the girls actually have kids. I take care of kids so technically I think I am the closest to grandkids we are going to come for a while.

Chelsea, Julie and Shari took me out on Wednesday when I got back from Texas. They took me to Boco de Bebo which is an Italian family style restaurant. It was excellent. Then we went to a salsa club! It was AWESOME! I had such a good time! I can't wait to go back!

Today on the schedule: RELAX, hang out with Zanne, do some media stuff at the church, eat dinner with the family, open my present from my mom and then hang out with my sister tonight!

Excellent day!

"Recalculating" Said in an English accent...

Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get.

Then when you bite into the wrong one, you then put it back half eaten and then continue to the next piece. As my pastor put it so nicely on Sunday... we are all driving down the highway and when God told you to turn, you didn't and your nice GPS comes on and says "RECALCULATING." Or what the GPS is trying to say "YOU IDIOT YOU MISSED YOUR TURN!"

In life, we may miss our turn or fall down, or fail. But it isn't the end of the road. There is always another way and the end destination is still apparent, it is how you get there that makes the difference.

Sunday service was excellent. I can still feel my heart melt as he talks about failures and all they include. The Father is still going to be there to pick you back up no matter what happens.

Here is the youtube video he showed that made all the women in the congregation cry:

The aftermath of Kate's visit

So... with getting up at 3:55 to be on the road to the airport, I was surprisingly awake. Not talkative but who really is that early??

So I dropped her off by the Delta sign, gave her a big hug and then got in the car headed back to my casa. I then think you know- I would like to get my work out, out of the way. I park in the visitor parking my the golden gate bridge and run the bridge, watch the sun set and listen to some Shane and Shane. It was a perfect morning.

I then headed back to the house and crashed for a couple more hours before doing laundry, changing sheets, and just cleaning around the house. I have LOVED every minute of Kate being here and I miss her already!

Now back to reality of work and making progress on the rest of my life. Exciting! But loving it here in California for sure!

~Girl on a mission

Day Eight, " WICKED COOL"

So today was our adventure starting with the boys.

Luke and Cole are a bundle of joy to be around. We sang a song from Kate's camp about fruit. They loved when she did the sad face part. They thought it was hilarious! After spending the morning and lunch with them we headed off to the big city! It was a beautiful clear day, with little fog! We got to the ferry for Alcatraz right on time, rode over to the island and got to listen to stories from the prisoners from these head sets!

It was awesome. It was a personal guide telling you where to go and how to turn. It was awesome. I highly recomend anyone coming to the area to stop by and see the island- just a tip, you will need to purchase tickets at least a week in advance!

Moving on from there, we went to the In and Out burger, cause we needed to get in and get out to make the musical. We ended up sitting next to a couple that are couch surfers. You should google it if you don't know what that is...

We make the walk back to the car and drove down Bay street to Chris' work. We got to change clothes and look pretty before headed to the Orpheum Theater. We were so excited, and thanks to Kate's great music interests we expressed it loudly in the car on the way there. Singing to all types of music with big smiles on our faces!

We got good parking that was FREE. And had second row seats which were perfect. We could see the facial expressions and everything! We had such an awesome time, it is so sad it is over. As we were walking down the big hill to the house tonight Kate said, "I just want to push rewind and see it all over again!" I feel the same way.

This has been an awesome week! We need to go to bed now, Kate's plane leaves at 6 a.m.!

Till Tomorrow...